Tuesday, August 2, 2016

Christ Is In Me, I Am Enough

Just because you feel discouraged, doesn't mean you have to be discouraged.
Just because you have fear, doesn't mean fear has to have you. 

I bought these Powersheets literally over a year ago. There was some kind of deal with a free print with a purchase of a set of these sheets, and I was in a really tough place. It seemed like everyone that was hashtagging #powersheets on Insta had their lives together, and I was just all over the place. 

I was new to working from home and being the primary full time caregiver to our son and I was struggling with finding my identity in my new circumstances. I remember thinking that maybe buying these Powersheets would help me snap out of it and be the answer to everything I was lacking. Silly? Probably. I was pretty desperate though. 

I completed the first couple of pages and found it to be really difficult so I closed them and didn't open them again until last week. Not in the mood to soul search, I closed them again and not sure where to put them "away" I left the binder downstairs where Lincoln found them. He figured out how to open the binder (why are toddlers magic like that?) and literally threw the pages around like confetti. Today, I decided to put them back in order to put them "away" and I started reading the pages as I reordered them and realized it was time for me to actually do this.

Over the past year I've gotten to a place where at the end of every month I sit down and hash out goals for the next month and reflect back on what worked, what didn't work, etc. I've really been feeling God leading me to a more purposeful life, simple in some ways, but intentional in the way I handle EVERYTHING. Especially my time. Over the years God has taught me about being intentional with my money, my diet, my body and my relationships, but I've really always struggled with time. I've learned that if I don't have a plan or a system in place to keep me on track, I lose all my time to anything– Facebook, Netflix, naps, an impulse decision to organize my sock drawer. 

Sunday pastor Steven preached again about confidence, after last week's word, he spoke about fear and courage in his message Talk Myself Into It  and it was for me. I can't find my notes where I wrote down a ton (self: start bringing that cute notebook you got for church notes to church, kk?) but one of the first things he said was: God's presence is guaranteed but his promises are optional and I will be with you wherever you go, but how far you go is up to you. It's up to us to encourage ourselves, to talk ourselves INTO things. We let fear and discouragement take over and talk us out of stuff, and we can't rely on encouragement from other people-- it's up to US individually to encourage ourselves. God is with us, he is here, but how far we go, how we respond to our fears, how we react when we are discouraged is up to us. 

God has given me a job to do and I have a destiny, and I can't let fear and discouragement take hold over me. Pastor shared with us his phrase that he repeats to himself when he's feeling the fear and is discouraged: Christ is in me, I am enough. I have probably repeated this out loud to myself 274 times since Sunday. 

You are BRAVE, remarkable and ENOUGH. 

I saw the quote above while I was reassembling the sheets, and I immediately thought of the sermon Sunday and felt a tug. It's up to you how far you go.  So, thanks Lincoln for learning how to open a binder. Let's go! Christ is in me, I am enough. I have a job, God has a destiny for me and nobody can talk me into my destiny but me. Nobody is going to be a good steward of my time but me. Nobody is going to be Lincoln's mom but me. Nobody is going to be Marshall's wife but me. Nobody is going to love our family fiercely like a wife and mom but me. Nobody is going to live my life intentionally but me. The best is coming! 

Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their ancestors to give them. “Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips;meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:6-9

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